"Kavanaugh was on top of me while laughing with REDACTED, who periodically jumped onto Kavanaugh. They both laughed as Kavanaugh tried to disrobe me in their highly inebriated state. With Kavanaugh's hand over my mouth I feared he may inadvertently kill me." - Christine Blasey Forde
“After the assault, I wasn't sure what had actually happened but the pain spoke volumes. The shame was overwhelming. Self-doubt and confusion kept me from turning to my family or friends as I normally did. I felt completely alone, unable to trust anyone, including myself.” - Andrea Constand
It's almost not worth repeating because it's obvious – the effects of primitive masculinity on women are enduring. It's also obvious that the on ramp to this national #metoo conversation could not be more varied. The gender, age and class perspectives are obvious but what about race? 3 to 10 for Cosby, promotion to SCOTUS for Kavanaugh!
“He robbed me of my health and vitality, my open nature, and my trust in myself and others. I've never married and I have no partner. I live alone. My dogs are my constant companions ...” - Andrea Constand
I suspect some variant of this narrative is true in every survivor's story. But it's a man's story too. Everyday unsuspecting men stumble over invisible tripwires in their relationships. Tripwires that are often the aftershocks of primitive masculinity in the lives of the women they love and the women with whom they fall in love.
That said, I generally don't grant automatic sainthood to the distaff side of the human family. No, instead I know what primitive masculinity can do from what I witness in the adult life of my dear cousin Dee. Dee lives in almost total social isolation. Her world is constrained to an approximately 140 square foot bedroom with the shades pulled, a small radio and TV. Dee's “self imposed” isolation began more than four decades ago when #shetoo was victimized. It's only the herculean efforts of her daughter, son-in-law and frisky grandchildren that keep her connected to “now”. When I visit with Dee, her shy-sweet laugh and the way she truncates my name to “'Brey” simultaneously hurts and warms my heart. Dee is nearly blind now but in her voice and in her smile are the memories of who she was when I was a teenager and she was a graceful dancer and explorer. Yes, #metoo and more.
Dr. Huxtable goes to jail, Kavanaugh goes to SCOTUS. Let me be clear here – one is convicted the other is accused. Dr. Huxtable is a fictitious black TV character whose only influence is derived from society's pathological obsession with celebrity. On the other hand, Kavanaugh will decide if:
- your vote counts;
- your pre-existing medical condition disqualifies you from affordable health care;
- your female body is yours to decide intimate and sometimes painful choices;
- cooperate money continues to have a corrupting influence on democracy; and
- presidential power is unfettered.
“I feared he may inadvertently kill me” is enough that we should pause. It's enough that we should hear from witnesses; It's enough that an independent investigation be conducted. Anything less and Kavanaugh should not be confirmed.
Oh, by the way what about race?